Is it possible to turn back time? Can you really relive your childhood?Wouldn’t you just love to go back and tackle each regret we have acquired throughout our lives? Wouldn’t that be great! What point in your life would you like to go back to? Regrets… the one thing that always lingers in the back of our minds. We all have them, in my opinion, the worst regret is believing at some point you didn’t do the right thing for your child. I have always struggled with regret about how many times I was unavailable for my youngest. As parents we all have an idea of what we think the “perfect parent” is , we strive to be that. We want so much for our children, we all have those sleepless nights worrying whether we are measuring up or making the right decisions for our children.
Being a mother of four, I have developed plenty of experience in identifying even the slightest behavioral change in one of my children. By the time my youngest , Micheal (yes that’s how we spell it ) turned three I came head to head with one of a parent’s worst fears. All of a sudden he stopped speaking to us, but developed a pattern of replaying the shows he watched during the day in the cartoon voices(it was mostly Toy Story his favorite) so I knew he could talk. My child also entered a “self-soothing” phase that lasted a few years. He would hide his face and say”not good, doing was not good” until he would pull himself together. It use to make me so sad, I felt helpless. All I wanted is to make him feel better. At the time, I didn’t realize that what Micheal was self-soothing himself, he knew he needed it. Its amazing how instinctual children are , Micheal knew he needed to draw upon himself! So looking back I have realized that his self-soothing was helping him get through his tough moments.
When Micheal stopped speaking we went thru the long wait of getting him tested for Autism, pre-school , they had told us he is not really on the spectrum but they would recommend speech therapy. They also suggested the best way to get this kind of help early on is thru a special-school, that way he could get all the attention he needs for speech development. He began Rockets for preschool. you can learn what is available in your area thru this link.Help for Preschoolers
It is also good to know your rights, for my State of California this is a good source.
Know your rights Once Micheal started he clearly was not in the same situation as his class, but the help and expertise of his teachers was enormous. I also feel that being in Special education gave Micheal a different perspective on how to care for others and that is huge ! Many parents worry about the stigma, for me I was grateful for any help we could get.His teacher said using scissors with his left hand would help his speech capability. I am very thankful that one of the key things they focused on was art. Art became his healing method, first thing he did when he would get home from school is create a work of art that he used as a catalyst to express his emotions, he would then explain to us how his day went. I have learned to give him time and space when he gets home (without him knowing) because I saw the value in the transition for him. By the time Micheal started kindergarten he was well on his way. Thru kindergarten I kept him in speech therapy and by first grade, he was right in the pack with the rest of the class and then began to excel. He is in fourth grade now and on student council, straight As , and great at sports.So its safe to say that Micheal made a full recovery!I am happy to say he was just on pause! Sometimes children know what’s best, his pause has helped carve himself into the amazing artist he is today.
Let’s face it no family is normal,I know ours was definitely not. If you read my bio you will see that my second eldest daughter is a long-time Cancer Fighter Survivor/Hero. I always worried that Micheal’s development was scared due to my endless nights at the hospital with my daughter. I really beat myself up over things that were out of my control. As a mother,w e can give it our best but we all feel at one point we fell short. Through all the busy years spent juggling work, mothering four children, supporting my daughter at the hospital with her fight against cancer and concern over Micheal’s development I feel like I lost some years. I feel like I completely missed Michael’s childhood. And, even though all of our issues were out of my control I still feel guilty I couldn’t be there more for Micheal when he was small. I feel regret that I didn’t get to know him the way I should in the early years of his development.
So here is the funny thing, Disneyland really is a dream for every child! The ability to make believe is a strong force for freedom and self-development! Michael and I use to watch Wall-E it always made me think about Micheal. We used to go to Disney when he was young , but we stopped around the time he turned five and became busy with sports.Recently, we bought annual passes, we thought our kids would not care about Disney as much anymore. Boy were we wrong. Not only do they love it , but a child like fun has been set free in Micheal ,and this time I am here to experience it and play with him. Its a beautiful thing. We are now regulars at the park and he follows the map creating his wishes of the day. I swear its like I died and went to heaven! To get his childhood back for me is a dream come true.We can seriously relate to the Pan or the Rebels! Really us moms do not always get a chance to be that cool ! I gotta say Disney is the dream, they did put time in a bottle, a magical time. You can experience the joy radiating out of your child. They harnessed the ability to unleash your inner kid. Im not a football player , but the mom of one and I know how it is when you can get busy and caught up in a sports lifestyle. But you can have it all, it just requires Vision ! That’s what children have ,and us parents lose it sometimes ! That’s all kids need ! Someone speaking their language ! Now we speak each others language even if we are Rebels and denied by Darth Vader ! Disney gives me the chance to be there ! You cant buy this kind of joy, but you can try !I realize its expensive but I will eat Mac n’ cheese if we can go to Disneyland on Sunday’s until Football season starts! I have never slept so good as the day we wore ourselves out at Disney ! Turn back time do what you gotta do ! For me it was a priority, my instinct was right !